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So, I sought out a job.  I interviewed and was hired on the spot.  It isn’t much.  Working in the mailroom at a famous catalog company that sells a lot of “As Seen On TV” stuff.  It is temporary.  It is part time.  My mother has agreed to watch the kids during the four hours I work Monday through Friday.

So, why am I not excited?  Why do I want to call them and decline their offer (the day before I start)?  Why am I doubting my abilities?  Why am I convinced that something bad will happen?

I have asked friends (via facebook, of course) what they think and everyone is telling me to give it a try.

But I feel like I have so much on my plate now.

I am on a new medication on top of the pro.zac and we still don’t know how that is going to work.  I am having good and “very” bad days.  The kids are full on crazy most of the time.  My house is like a 25 lb bag stuffed with 50 lbs of crap….and I am still giving stuff away on freecycle.org (including 2 double strollers this week alone).

Maybe it is because I have been out of work for more than two years.  Maybe it is that I just needed to know that I “could” get a job.

I am so confused and don’t know what my next move should be.  Do I have what it takes to work again and still try to raise my babies, keep my house clean, cook for all of us and keep my husband happy?

Any thoughts?  Anyone still reading?  I know, I am the worst blogger ever……

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Comments
  1. pillarr1 says:

    I KNOW you can do it. One thing I have realized is that when you are a stay at home mom, you tend not to do the things that you do when you worked. In fact, you do less OTHER stuff and 90% baby stuff. For example, when I worked insane hours, I still found time to cook, shop, work, hang out, watch tv, read etc. Now that I have Rachel, I rarely do anything not associated with her. I always feel that if I go back to work that I will get my nails and hair done and go out to eat more. I think working moms have a finite period of time away from their children where they can do those extras. Just say you get off work early, you can get your nails done or eat out. But SAHMS don’t get off early ever.

    I think it would be good for you and the kids to have some time apart. We all need to get back to feeling like we are a part of the working world because it makes a lot of us feel better. Some magazine said that working moms are in shape better physically, mentally, and emotionally than SAHMS. Many working moms go to the gym during their lunch hour. SAHMS have to get a sitter (not always easy) or take their kids somewhere so we can have some free time. I think this job will do you good. If you don’t like it then you can quit, but give it a try.

  2. cat says:

    How are you doing girl? How’s the job doing? Are you ok?

    I think you should go ahead and make it a positive experience. Maybe this is what you need to help you uplift the spirits.

  3. Soralis says:

    Hey there… hope the new job restores some of your confidence. I am sure you will be great. Change can be a difficult thing. (Then throw some cute twins on top of that and life can really get crazy!) Take care and good luck!

    Thinking of you

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