Crossroads….

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So, I sought out a job.  I interviewed and was hired on the spot.  It isn’t much.  Working in the mailroom at a famous catalog company that sells a lot of “As Seen On TV” stuff.  It is temporary.  It is part time.  My mother has agreed to watch the kids during the four hours I work Monday through Friday.

So, why am I not excited?  Why do I want to call them and decline their offer (the day before I start)?  Why am I doubting my abilities?  Why am I convinced that something bad will happen?

I have asked friends (via facebook, of course) what they think and everyone is telling me to give it a try.

But I feel like I have so much on my plate now.

I am on a new medication on top of the pro.zac and we still don’t know how that is going to work.  I am having good and “very” bad days.  The kids are full on crazy most of the time.  My house is like a 25 lb bag stuffed with 50 lbs of crap….and I am still giving stuff away on freecycle.org (including 2 double strollers this week alone).

Maybe it is because I have been out of work for more than two years.  Maybe it is that I just needed to know that I “could” get a job.

I am so confused and don’t know what my next move should be.  Do I have what it takes to work again and still try to raise my babies, keep my house clean, cook for all of us and keep my husband happy?

Any thoughts?  Anyone still reading?  I know, I am the worst blogger ever……

Strange Times

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yeah, so despite going to the park yesterday to tucker the kids out, they woke up at 12:30 and then at 1 am for no real good reason.  Then, they decided that it was the perfect time to run and play…until 3 am.  Then poof! back to bed without a fuss.

I’m wiped.  I just cleaned bathrooms at Mom and Dad‘s house, and mopped the kitchen floor with my little “helpers”.  At least my parents will get to come home to clean house, that is more than my hubby can say most days.

And way back when, we started a garden…..well, what managed to survive is doing great.  We are going to have a TON of tomatos.  And we have several nice poblano peppers growing and even a few anaheim peppers (it was a mystery plant that I bought).  The peppers were started a little when we got them, so I am not going to take too much credit for them….but the roma tomatos were started as seeds on my kitchen windowsill.  And they are going nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can’t wait to try them.  There are going to be a lot of mexican food being cooked around here…….

I wii fit -ed for 40 minutes last night…..but alas, today….I just don’t have the energy……could it be lack of sleep?

Octo-Mom

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was a stripper!  Now there is a shock!  Couldn’t have seen that one coming…….

Nadia, Octo-Mom, Angelina….whatever it is that you want to be called….what is up with you?

You really think the state is going to let you keep all of your children….?

I hope not……

God, that woman pisses me off to no end!