making a decision

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

to exclude “negative” influences in my life (both in real life and online…i.e.facebook)

If I want to be stabbed in the back, I will mount a knife to a door and back into it myself.  I certainly don’t need so-called “friends” lining up to do it.

So I have “blocked” negative influences and I feel better about it.  Several of them know about my blog and if they decide that it is still any of their business to read this, that is on them.  If they are that desperate for rumor fodder….I will just pray for them.  I live in a small town and there is no real practical way to escape from all the small town “bitty hens”.

Sorry, I did not intend for this post to come across as being so negative…..

I must be in one of my moods……

and now

I have been defriended for good. I am half tempted to just say screw off to Facebook.   Oh, and if my life weren’t crappy enough, Daniel started vomiting french fries all over us at midnight.  Yeah, not so fun….

three sheet changes, 4 pajama changes ( 2 for him and 2 for me) and the hubby is home if Melissa decided to join in the fun.  Well, so far, Melissa is fine.  But I have a hubby and son who were up ALL NIGHT LONG.  Can you say messed up circadian rhythm?

I am a mess emotionally.  I don’t want to do anything but curl up in a ball and die.  Having toddlers, well, I can curl up but someone will come over and mimick me….(Melissa aka Mini-Me).

She was playing “hair styling” last night……. don’t laugh too hard at the pictures.  I am pretty sure that she is not Sweeney Todd incarnate.

Crossroads….

Image via Wikipedia

So, I sought out a job.  I interviewed and was hired on the spot.  It isn’t much.  Working in the mailroom at a famous catalog company that sells a lot of “As Seen On TV” stuff.  It is temporary.  It is part time.  My mother has agreed to watch the kids during the four hours I work Monday through Friday.

So, why am I not excited?  Why do I want to call them and decline their offer (the day before I start)?  Why am I doubting my abilities?  Why am I convinced that something bad will happen?

I have asked friends (via facebook, of course) what they think and everyone is telling me to give it a try.

But I feel like I have so much on my plate now.

I am on a new medication on top of the pro.zac and we still don’t know how that is going to work.  I am having good and “very” bad days.  The kids are full on crazy most of the time.  My house is like a 25 lb bag stuffed with 50 lbs of crap….and I am still giving stuff away on freecycle.org (including 2 double strollers this week alone).

Maybe it is because I have been out of work for more than two years.  Maybe it is that I just needed to know that I “could” get a job.

I am so confused and don’t know what my next move should be.  Do I have what it takes to work again and still try to raise my babies, keep my house clean, cook for all of us and keep my husband happy?

Any thoughts?  Anyone still reading?  I know, I am the worst blogger ever……

Addiction. Admitting that you have a problem is the first step, right?

So.  It’s official.  I am addicted, like millions of my “friends”, to Facebook.

I check it dozens of times during the day.

I have reconnected with half of my high school graduating class, old friends from when I was a little girl, people I have worked with over the years, old boyfriends…heck…my parents have a facebook page.  Half of my family is on there.  Even the hubby has a page.  He found his cousin that he hasn’t had been in touch with since the 80’s.  It is amazing.

Yesterday, I found out that a girlfriend of mine from high school is married to the former partner (cop) of one of my clients from the vet hospital.  They are close friends.

Six degrees of separation, my shiny white butt…..

But I am addicted.  I should be doing anything else besides facebook.  But I can’t.  It is just too cool.

The kids had a pretty good night.  Daniel was up once in the night, but Melissa slept right through.  They woke up when they heard the hubby get up.  He is off work today but is having extensive dental work done and the dentist is more than an hour away, so he left the house before 7 am.

And it looks like our “Date Night” is going to be somewhat truncated.  We were checking out movies and movie times ($11 per person…what a rip off) and the hours that the Mexican restaurant that we want to go to.  It turns out that there is just no way to do dinner and a movie.  It will have to be one or the other.  Our babysitter will be here at 7.  Even if we drive right to the theatre, we won’t make it to the restaurant before they close.  And I really want authentic Mexican food.  Oh well.  I guess we will have to figure out something else to do to fill our couple hours of free time…..

Oh, and Melissa has a new trick.  If you ask her where her nose is, she will point to it, then proceed to stick her finger up it.  Cute isn’t it?

And if you really are interested…please feel free to check out our video collection here……

Must run….kids fighting over toy….